Past Dreams...

                       I gotta admit I like movies about music and musicians, like Dream Girls, Double Platinum, Momma I wanna sing, Sparkle, even Glitter (which was kinda eeehhh ). Then I started thinking and got a revelation, all these women are beautiful, no wonder no one gave me a chance to become a singer!!! Well if you didn't know since I was a child I had wanted be a singer; I always looked up to singers such as Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Anita Baker, Etta James, Ella Fritzgerald, Diana Ross, and so forth. When I graduated High School my friend and I sang 'Count on Me' it became out class song. I remember telling myself  'if I can look up and sing to the audience the I am meant to be a true performer' and I DID. After that I started getting gigs at fairs and doing any and every talent show I could, I was determined. So I knew and therefore always imagine myself up on a stage performing, it was a dream that even as a child I had and I have to admit I still think about it. Its not like I didn't try or that I wasn't walking around singing like a fool. If you ask some of my school friends I would sing any chance I got. I remember as a kid my cousins would say 'you can't sing', 'you open your mouth to wide' 'your too ugly', 'your too fat', I did not listen I just kept going I would make up songs pretend I was on a stage and sing my little heart off. Between you and I; I still make up songs and sing them well they are more like  lullabies  now though. jaja Either way I started to think about it; I really had no chance what so ever of making it as a singer, not that I can't sing because I CAN, but because I am not thin, blonde, and well a barbie. I am a regular looking gal with a great voice, what people want is something good to look at. I had made a demo back when and I had sent it out to every address I could find that would or could give my CD a listen too, it even had 7 different songs from different genres. Still nothing, when finally I ended up talking to a guy that had walked into my store (my family business) for a watch battery none the less. haha He was a music producer form Nashville, I even looked him up to see if he was for real. So I had given him my CD and my number so he could tell me what he thought, the next day he called me said I had a great voice and he wanted to meet up and discuss options. So I told him ok, my mother and I went to go see him and we sat to have small meeting, he ended up telling me that as he said before I had a great voice and it could take me places the only exception was MY FACE! He told me I needed plastic surgery, my cheekbones done, my chin, done my nose, done my hair colored, I needed to get lighter and lose about 100 pounds. Lose weight ok go for it BUT I am not that ugly, my goodness he pretty much said I needed an over haul. The only thing he liked about me beside my voice was my eyes!! As you could imagine I said NO. About two other producers called me and again great voice, change your face!! I even met one of the guys from The McCoys (band from the 60's) in Laughlin once he actually heard me sing cus I was doing Karaoke, he even said straight out that I had a great voice BUT I would get no where because of my look he even apologized for telling me that I needed to look like Britney Spears. Yup!! You would think that with all this I would give up, but I did not give up I kept going, to be frank the only thing I heard all these people say was 'YOU HAVE A GREAT VOICE'. So I figure if people like Queen Latifah, Jill Scott, Missy Elliott, etc can make it then I could. So I kept going then got another chance I started working with someone that I had known for a long time.He didn't know I sang so he took my demo listen to it and decided to take me under his wing. He started helping me by exercising with me, gave me a plan.  I followed it to the tee in a one week I had lost 10 pounds after that I found that the exercise was the one that really helped me so I did a lot of walking and weights. I let my hair grow, we worked on a lot of lyrics, I worked my ass off, we had 3 songs written and done when his wife started making a fit about he and I working too much together. It was bull this guy was OLD his wife started acting that way after she found out my age she had thought I was a lot younger. The woman was nuts and completely insecure. So that was the end of that no more manager no more road to my dreams. After that I completely dedicated myself into raising my nephew and working but I still haven't forgotten my dream and my gift which is music.